You Know You've Been Plaing Ogres Too Long When... (2008)

1). you've gained alot of wieght
2). you strap a iron glove on your left hand
3). you keep someone smaller than you as a slave
4). you raid any party of people that passes you
5). you worship a ever hungry god
6). you start to exile your non-fat babys to caves
7). you pick fights with other people to improve your status
. you let your weapons rust
9). you put a big dish over your stomach
10). you eat anything that moves

you guys can figure out the rest, try to get to 100!

You perform self-dentistry and hope that something magical happens

You're ten feet tall

you start traveling the world looking for stuff to kill

You think having a limb hacked off in battle makes you a better fighter.

You wear severed heads as fashion accessories.

You try to join the local pit fighting society.

you nip down to the local piercing shop and ask them to stick rib bones through your skin

When having small green creatures scuttling about you becomes normal.

When having small green creatures scuttling about you becomes normal.

You mean it isnt???  oops!

when you start carrying a club with you at all times

When you'll only walk with two other people at a time, hoping one of them is good at shouting.

When you get into a fight, you run away hoping your friend will run in and take the adversary by suprise.

- when your idea of a funeral is to eat the dead person

- when you jump on a rhino in Africa and tame it by bashing it with a club

- you start yelling at people that your beerbelly is your direct link to the maw, your god

- you throw your kids in a well if they don't have a big gut

- when you build a catapult on your car to launch sharp stuff at people

- you eat a pile of guts and hope your missing finger grows back on its own

- telling people you will grind their bones into soup if they don't do your bidding

If you can write down a complete army list from memory, and can theory-hammer the whole match in your head

If you can write down a complete army list from memory, and can theory-hammer the whole match in your match

if you can't do this, then you should practise until you can!

When you spend whole day of thinking about Ogres.
Dreaming, during eating, farting, ect, ect.

When you look at another group of people across the street and wonder of they're in charge range...

When you look at that same group of people and wonder which one is the general so you know where to direct your attacks...

When you look at the group of people next to them and wonder which group is worth more victory points...


When you start tring to solve every dispute with a roll on a D6, 1-3 they're right 4-6 your right. (DO NOT TRY THIS WITH YOUR WIFE!!! EPIC FAIL!)

 

when you try and breed a rhino shaggy dog cross

when the first thing you do when encountering something or someone new is to see how they taste.

when any army over 35 models feels too big

when you have piles of foam from modifying carry cases to take the models

My personal experience

1) When you no longer roll 1's for bickering and pass all leadership checks outside of the generals range.
2) When you massacre your opponent and realizing at the end of the game that you forgot add a unit to the game
3) When you start giving your characters a personal history such as: b-day, names, bad habits ect..
4) When you beat Wild Card to the very first reply

LOL! 

When the urge to shout "BOOM! Hur hur hur" In a public place becomes just too strong to resist!

When you are 90 years old and use the same old Ogre models and same army book too play Warhammer.
Meanwhile this forum is 60 year old and collected 230 pet gnoblars.
Wow...look a 20.000 point painted Gnoblar army...how cool.

1) When you watch The Empire Strikes Back and you root for the snow monster to kill Luke and his Ton-ton because the snow monster kind of looks like a Yhetee.
2) You've made a functional Gut plate.
3) You have fielded an Ogre Death Star and realized that it's not a good idea.
4) You have made a list of everything that your Tyrant has "Tenderized" (I've done this)
5) You have fielded a Tyrant without a Tenderizer (not recommended).

1) When you watch The Empire Strikes Back and you root for the snow monster to kill Luke and his Ton-ton because the snow monster kind of looks like a Yhetee.

This made me lol when I read it Class.

When you realise that actually charge IS the best tactic

You build foam houses out of your modified carry case bits.

You don't even need to concetrate/look to mix ogre skin tone


Even better...(personal one)...you start to, actually, like painting gnoblars 

When you are called cheesy 

1) When all you can think is how can i cause MORE damage!

2) When you acctually threaten to eat a dwarf if he dont stop shooting that bloody cannon!

3) After eating the dwarf using the cannon to answer number 1!

When you start making threads with the title:

how you know when you've been playing ogres too long

 

When you forget that other wizards have to roll for their spells instead of just knowing them all.

When your ogre miniatures start talking to you.

When your ogre miniatures start talking to you.

...when you start to talk back

When you buy your 2 year old child a puppy and tell him/her to lift it up above their head every morning and night until they get to 13 and can eat it.

when you eat an opponent's models at the end of a game (burp!)

When at the local gaming scene they don't see ogre's as weak anymore
(except bretons, wich i always lose to)

You're a mod on the Ogre Stronghold.

When you look for opportunities to exclaim; "Get in mah belly!"

when you find yourself AT WORK doing exact measurements with the 12' template you have ENGRAVED in your head!! 

When you buy your 2 year old child a puppy and tell him/her to lift it up above their head every morning and night until they get to 13 and can eat it.

Lol, that was really funny.

Erm... How about when you start asking why the opponent's is rolling so many dice in the magic phase.

*you insist in staying together with 3 other ogre kingdom players, to get the inpact hit. (always handy in the supermarked, especially if your midle name is wallcrusher)

*you got the killerscars.

grunt grunt

When you run and kick those around you, who are smaller than you, act like a slave, and have an odd greenish pigment to their skin

JJ

when your belly stops being an embarassment and becomes a fashion statement

When your favourite pastime includes eating everything possible (even rocks), seeing who can kick Gnobs the furthest and getting topples and running gut first into other fat men!

* When women weighting the odd ton start looking attractive (no phun intended to the ladies out there btw)

When you go to the local Butcher's MArket asking for Troll guts because you got a big game that night.

When you go to the local Butcher's Market seeking spiritual Guidence.

Whenever you hear the word Tyrant, Butcher, Bruiser, or Bull and that unstoppable evil grin spreads across your face.

When you start to like the fact people underestimate you for playing Ogres.

When the satisfaction you get from beating those non-believers starts to become intoxic.

When you start thinking " Giants really arent that tough"

When you lay on a living tide of lil green slaves, blinged to the eyeballs, and you call yourself Overtyrant

when you start referring to other humans as thinlings

When a normal cow just dont hit the spot

#When you mortgage your house to buy more figures.
#When base coating with a tank brush is normal.
#When you try to enslave anyone over 6'2".
#When you start riding a rhinox to work.
#When trained tigers do you bidding.
#When all the paint wears off your models and you have to re-paint them.

Sorry if I stole some from others, not sure if I did- I can't remember them all.

#When that tennis trophy starts looking like a fancy gutplate.

HAHAHAHAHA i like this last one! It really is just a big shiny gut plate!!!

When you travel too the furthest most regions of the earth, fighting mystical fiends, and calling yourself a maneater

When your idea of a pet is a furry rhino/green midget!

When you feel that you and the pot-bellied "small person" nearby share some common ancestry

I have to tell on myself now...

1) When you decide to see if you can become a "Wallcrusher" by smashing through a wall using only your stomach and head (this was a sheetrock wall btw, I was not about to try stone - I did find a stud though...and yes it hurt, and yes I got it loose)

2) When you play Halo or Unreal Tournament and go "BOOM! Hur Hur Hur" after you kill someone with the Rocket Launcher or Flak Cannon

3) If you have drawn up workable plans for a Leadbelcher cannon (but decided against constructing it because of legal concerns)

4) If you have ever used the phrase "guts out pit fight" in a sentence - and you werent kidding

5) If your friends have ever taken you to a buffet to see "how much meat you can eat" (this has happened prior to me playing ogres, but it fits the thread. I made it to 6 and 1/2 lbs and literally thought I was dying)

6) If you have ever attempted lifting a small person over your back to make them scratch it (it worked btw)

7) If you have ever purposely sought and/or keep a two handed weapon to keep around the house in case someone breaks in

8 ) If you have ever tried to tackle a horse (there was alcohol involved and I got the snot kicked out of me - my friends got a good laugh out of it though) - hey I almost got him down!

9) If your friends have ever threatened you with bodily harm if you dont put their general model down and stop threatening to eat it

10) If your friends have started calling you "Ogre" because of anything listed in this thread (thats my nickname!)

this one happened to me:

when a little kid from the store comes up to you and say you chose your army cuz you look like them