The Ogre Stronghold

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'Twas the Night before Gutmas

original thread ↗

'Twas the night before Gutmas, and all through the tribe,
The bulls were all grumbling, there was a strange vibe,
For they just finished eating their last chunks of horse,
And it just wasn't filling, it was too little, of course!

The men looked at me, their tyrant, with glares,
Wondering what to eat, and when was their next shares.
I growled back and bashed one on the head,
"We'll eat when we'll eat; challenge me, and you'll be dead."

As we laid down for the night in our separate places
I too wondered what we would shove next into our faces,
And my mate beside me was worried too,
If there's no feast for Gutmas, what would we do?

Then suddenly from the wilderness there rose such a clatter,
And I grabbed my large mace to deal with this matter.
My mate groomed her beard, and I adorned my crown,
And left our abodes, because something was going down.

As soon as we entered our tribe's center square
We saw the noise-makers, they were already standing there!
Eight mighty rhinoxen pulling a giant wooden sleigh,
With a gigantic old Hunter hollering, "Good Day!"

He was wrapped in red furs and other matted cloths,
He looked large and fast, making other ogres into sloths!
With a giant grin filled with few worn out teeth,
He began to throw out large slabs of mammoth beef!

And every ogre had a large slab of meat,
No ogre was hungry, this was the meal to beat!
And as soon as he came, the Hunter was gone,
We had no chance to say thank you, since our meals weren't done.

And from the woods, the Hunter had cried,
With a voice that no other could match, no matter how they tried,
"On Crusher, On Killer, On Stomper, On Splat,
On Slayer, On Thumper, On Smoosher, On Flat!"

And then he had yelled, "Hurry, you beasts!
Merry Gutmas to all, and to all a Good Feast!"
38 Gnobs! Almost on my 4th Pack of Trappers! Exciting
Gibblet, Nibblet, Crunchybit, Snorti, Lullzee, Wakezee, Wardler, and Primo! (For sharing the Forum Primer to help out a new member! )

New book WLD: 21/11/3 - Got trounced by one of the "Khaine" elf armies... Stupid new rules...

Very Nice!
ogres are the boulder rolling down at you.  you can side step it, run away from it or blow it up before it gets to you... but you can never ignore it.
Gnoblar awarded - very entertaining! :)
x105 - keeping pace with my wins!

Ogre achievements: 65/101 latest: maneater (play in 5 different venues)

Latest Fantasy Result: ogre kingdoms vs. high elves - 1500 points - win!

8th edition: 105/25/12
New ogres: 36/6/5

I was born and bred in a briar patch!
Excellent!  Greetings of the Gutmaw to all of our tribes...
Yarig Icefist Blackfinger the Cold-hearted, Ice-Jarl.

Ogre achievements:   4/100

Track Record:              0 /  0 /  0

    

Awesome. +1 gnoblar.

iTroll
The part you don't tell is when it comes back later in the night and kills them all.  It was a good read though!
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